When I was an investment analyst, a large part of my job was writing. At least twice a week, I wrote an article for the bank´s daily stock market publication, telling our clients to “buy this” or “sell that.” In addition, I regularly wrote company and industry reports that ranged in size from four pages to two hundred pages. Writing was one of my favorite parts of the job. The work of an investment analyst never ends; we were always expected to have a view on the market and the stocks under our coverage – and stock prices and conditions change daily. But with writing it was different. There was a feeling of completion – even peace – when I finished a report. I would usually re-read these reports weeks and even months after they were published, smiling at my wit and appreciating my sentence structure. It´s a good thing I appreciated them because very few other people did. In the investment industry, research is mostly a marketing gimmick. When you walk into a meeting and put down that thick research report and it makes a loud “thunk,” then you clearly know your stuff. I loved to write, so my reports made particularly nice “thunks,” and even the occasional “THWuuuMP!”

But very few clients read more than the cover of a typical research report. They receive a stack of research twelve inches high each and every day. Who has the time to read – especially if your eyes are glued to a computer screen watching your portfolio see-saw? Probably the only people who did read my research were my competitors. I know this because I read their research too.

I bring this up because I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine. Jessica is an actress and a freelance writer. She thinks my blogs are too long. I value her opinion; she edited my book and I found myself agreeing with the bulk of her corrections. In fact, until I saw her corrections, I hadn’t realized I was so addicted to beginning sentences, let alone paragraphs, with the word “and.”

And she’s not the only one who’s told me to shorten my blog. I have heard the same feedback from several people. Apparently, many people don´t like to read lengthy articles on the internet. This is the era of sound bites and short attention spans. People are looking for a quick smile in the middle of a hectic day. Even free porno clips last only fifteen seconds – although there´s probably another reason for that; not even a teenager can have a satisfactory customer experience with that time constraint.

I actually don´t disagree. I’ve noticed that the more popular bloggers are indubitably less verbose. They write less and they write more often. So I´m thinking I need to do a better job of containing my verbal enthusiasm. Unlike my old career, this blog is more than a marketing gimmick. I actually need people to read it. And I’m not getting paid for word count.

That said, the risk with this *** Daemon server – error 10411 *** max word count – stop – end blog – windbag – blowhard – zzzzzz ***

On Monday night, two friends – a husband and wife – came over for dinner and to watch the Victoria Day fireworks. I hadn´t seen either of them in a while. After the obligatory “have you found a publisher?” they asked how I spend my days. They were genuinely curious. This was somewhat annoying to me since the husband is a professional comedian. If anyone were to understand the life of a writer, I would have thought it would be him. This is how I wish I had responded:

“Hmmm, how do I spend my days? Well, it´s exactly a year ago that I separated from my wife. Since then, I´ve negotiated a legal settlement, gotten divorced, and transplanted myself from Hong Kong to Toronto. I´ve lived in serviced apartments, friend´s spare bedrooms, and most recently my brother´s house. I moved into my current place on April 1st which I´ve already completely outfitted – from dustbuster to barbeque to potted flowers. In this last year, I´ve had one meaningful relationship and told my life story to thirty thousand blind dates over thirty thousand coffees. I´ve traveled to Barcelona, Bangkok, Koh Samui, Seoul, Shanghai, Las Vegas and Boston. I´ve reconnected – or should I say connected – with my nephews and become proficient –for an adult – in Halo. I´ve been to the gym or yoga studio almost every day. I´ve done all these things and still completed a sixty-five thousand word book, built a website and started a blog – which I write for, at least once a week. In the last two weeks, I´ve submitted three articles for publication to magazines, completed the animation for my promotional video, bought a video camera, and started work on the live-action segment. I´ve also been reading The Official Driver´s Handbook since despite twenty-three years of driving, the Ontario government is making me retake my driving test. I´ve been trying to find the time to practice for my road test, since despite twenty-three years of driving I still can´t parallel park to save my life. Oh, and what else? I´ve just cooked your fucking dinner!” (more…)

I´ve been in Montreal these last few days, visiting my parents and my brother – who flew in from Vancouver. My parents split up several years back and it was not amicable. It´s always very difficult to see my father who´s aged well before his time. While most of his peers are spending their golden years complaining about their tennis elbow or their golf handicap, my father complains of relentless leg pain and uncontrollable shaking. He suffers from Parkinsons, and has great difficulty controlling his movements, let alone walking. He has lived in a nursing home for the last five years with people fifteen years his senior. He spends his days sitting in a wheelchair watching television, often unable to move. Parkinsons is a lifelong jail sentence with his body the prison cell.

What makes our encounters even more difficult is that our relationship has been strained for many years for other reasons. These unresolved issues still hang over me like a dark cloud. They don´t hang over him though because the vibrant, energetic person my father was when he was younger no longer exists. Nor does the person that I´m angry with. I am not altogether sure what has affected him more: the misery of Parkinsons or the mind numbness of American Idol and Maury. What I do know is that his once-quick mind has slowed. Occasionally, I´ll have moments with the man I remember – opinions that have burned themselves into his cerebral cortex will come out. But for the most part he´s changed. (more…)

A relative of mine recently took offense at something I had written. She felt I had gone “too far” in one of my blogs. I added the heat of her anger to the strength of her argument – and weighed them against my desire to stay true to my intent. I decided to edit what I´d written; I´ve always liked her cooking.

One of my dilemmas at this stage in the game is evaluating and incorporating the feedback I receive. I could stand on a podium and pretend that I don´t care what people think. This is a work of passion after all. I write what I write because I write it. But given that my success also depends on strangers ultimately reading and buying my material, that might not be very smart. If I followed every piece of advice I´ve received, my website would be as blank as Paris Hilton´s social calendar – in about two months time. So I need to find a balance between my thoughts and those around me. I listen to everything I hear and try to compartmentalize it for consideration at a later date. (more…)